I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
