i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize