he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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