He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
