The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
