Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize