matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
