I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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