I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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