just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
