i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
