that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
only you would photoshop your dick
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
