But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
