Taylor Swift is so right about you.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
it glows. i had to have it.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
