I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
