True but thats because hes a fetus.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
