so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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