i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
