i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
