She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
