You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Randomize
