I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
