That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Screwed.edu
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize