Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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