They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
And my parents said I crawled through the house
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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