Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
