we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
