I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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