i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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