i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
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