chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
