So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
