wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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