i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
