hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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