why do cheetos always look like penises
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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