i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
