O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
