In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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