I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
