You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize