I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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