i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
