this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Randomize
