I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
