Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
