we have pet lesbian snakes
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
