no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize