So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
