idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
