this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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