we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
