We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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