Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
