My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
