you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
