I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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